Please Don't Make Me Do Your Work For You

I've seen this crappy little sign a few times at a very small restaurant I go to occasionally. Every time I see it, I think the same thing: please don't make me do your job for you. Peek your head in here once in awhile. It also makes me wonder if their employees ever go to the bathroom. If they did, surely they'd know if the bathroom needed attention. Or maybe they're reading the other sign that says, "Employees must wash hands before returning to work."

Life Is Good...and their story is awesome

I'm a sucker for magazines, TV shows, and campfire stories about entrepreneurs. CNBC ran a show tonight called "How I Made My Millions." I loved every story, but one the one I liked best was the story behind Life Is Good, the brand that makes people smile with simple, happy t-shirts. Here's a quick clip. I encourage you to watch the whole story next time it airs on CNBC. Enjoy!

88 Ways to Make The Naughty List

Ok, so last week I asked you to tell me what actions, attitudes or behaviors would land a business on your "naughty list." In other words, what do companies do that make you NOT want to do business with them? 

Y'all must have needed to vent! Oh, the stories you told! The anguish you've endured! The amazing and horrific customer service you've witnessed!

I've read your stories, comments, and pleas for help, and summarized them into 88 ways companies can make the naughty list. As you read these, you'll chuckle knowingly at some, wince at some, and nod your head in agreement at nearly all of them. But as you read, I'd like you to use this list as a checklist for your own business. Think about each of these 88 behaviors and ask yourself, "Do we do this at any level?"

I'll be honest with you, we pride ourselves at sparkspace on the level of customer service we provide, and I found SEVERAL items on this list that hit a little (or a lot) too close to home.

I probably don't have to encourage you to do this, but you might want to share this post with, well, EVERYBODY you know. I have a feeling this is going to be one of our most read, most forwarded posts ever.

88 Ways To Make The Naughty List (in no particular order):

1. Poor communication between different parts of your business.
   
2. Talking to co-workers about personal matters instead of paying attention to me.
   
3. Talking on the phone about personal matters instead of paying attention to me.
   
4. When 10 employees walk by the same piece of trash.
   
5. Communications that contain grammatical and/or spelling mistakes (but, please excuse any in this newsletter).
6. Saying or implying "it's not my job" and pushing me off to another department or person.
7. Having to call (or be transferred to) three different people because nobody has access to all of the information I need regarding services or my account.
8. Lack of accountability for mistakes.
9. Not knowing the answer to a question AND THEN not trying to find the answer.
10. Long lines.
11. Employees who don't seem to care.
12. Having to ask you to repeat a service because of poor quality the first time.
13. Employees who PICK THEIR NOSE just before helping me.
14. Not responding to a personal complaint phone call, voicemail, letter, email, facebook page post (on your company's page), or tweet (to your company).
15. Placing me on hold for 20 minutes.
16. Placing me on hold for more than a minute, period.
17. Providing a "help" phone number staffed by people who can't (or won't) really help you.
18. Failing on your promises to me.
19. Bad-mouthing the competition.
20. Not having an advertised sale item in stock (or not providing a rain check).
21. Asking me to wait so you can make a bigger sale to a customer who just arrived.
22. Automatically replacing an ordered item with a "similar" item because the original item wasn't available, then not informing me of the change.
23. VOICEMAIL JAIL! A. Dumping me into automated voicemail systems with way too many options to listen to. B. Asking me to input my account number multiple times. C. Placing me on hold, then disconnecting me. D. Any of the above, in any combination.
24. Acting like you don't have time to help me.
25. Charging more just because you can.
26. Requiring ME to follow up continually in order to resolve YOUR mistake.
27. Treating me like you're doing a favor for me instead of being grateful for my business, no matter how big or small.
28. Employees arguing with each other.
29. Using foul language.
30. Not sounding educated (about your company or product).
31. Not sounding educated (by an elementary school).
32. Being placed on hold after talking to someone, then being asked "Can I help you?" when someone picks up the phone again.
33. Making me repeat an issue, name, account number, etc. every time you transfer me.
34. Sending me marketing emails without my permission.
35. Selling or sharing my email address without my permission.
36. Not unsubscribing me when I request to unsubscribe.
37. Completely ignoring or "blowing off" my complaint by not offering any solution, resolution, or compensation.
38. Not being somewhat flexible on deadlines, due dates, and expiration dates of special offers.
39. Not providing complete information about a product, sale, or promotion and expecting me to live up to all of the rules & regulations that you DIDN'T publish.
40. Slow shipping on something that's "in-stock".
41. Selling your product through "representatives" or "franchises" that don't deliver on YOUR brand promises.
42. Complaining to me about another customer!
43. Cashiers who are on "auto-pilot".
44. Employees who talk about how they can't wait until their shift is over.
45. Making me fight my way through a poorly designed form.
46. Requiring me to fill out multiple forms with the same information.
47. Making a special offer or sale, then basically negating most of it through a complex disclaimer.
48. Being rude.
49. Being aggressive.
50. Not taking no for an answer.
51. Being inconsiderate of my time.
52. Giving me a time-frame of when you'll show up, and showing up at the very end of the time.
53. Giving me a time-frame of when you'll show up, not showing up, and not calling me to tell me.
54. Telling me about you instead of asking me what my needs are first.
55. Making me go through your entire automatic phone system only to find out I've called outside of your business hours.
56. Barraging me with mail solicitation.
57. Not smiling.
58. Telling me you don't "ever" do something when you could easily do it for me this time.
59. Sending me communications that try to win me as a new customer when I'm already a customer.
60. Not saying thank you.
61. Not honoring your 100% satisfaction guarantee.
62. Price gouging.
63. Lying.
64. "Lazy lying", i.e., saying you're out of something without checking.
65. Bad-mouthing your own company.
66. Not being nice.
67. Not making it easy to do business with you or, worse, actually making it difficult to do business with you.
68. Speaking the phrase, "Our policy says..."
69. Being condescending.
70. Being patronizing.
71. Being arrogant.
72. Poor follow up. If you say you'll do something, DO IT.
73. Failing to apologize for your mistakes.
74. Failing to acknowledge that my situation sucks, even if it's not your fault.
75. Hiding from me by not providing me a way to contact a real person.
76. Calling ME, then putting me on hold!
77. Offering discounts to new customers, but doing nothing for existing loyal customers.
78. Not being properly staffed when you know you're going to be busy.
79. Employees standing around chatting, or doing nothing, while I clearly need help.
80. Not listening to me, not engaging me in conversation, and giving me a "pat" answer instead of finding a real solution to my need.
81. Not trusting me and requiring too much verification (especially when "security" is not an issue).
82. Assuming you know what my problem or desire is before truly finding out.
83. Not providing a simple, "I'll be right with you" acknowledgment.
84. Operating solely off of a script instead of listening and being human.
85. Making me feel like a number instead of a valued customer.
86. "Nickel & dime-ing" me by adding on fees, hidden charges, etc.
87. Constant reorganization and restructuring and making me re-learn your company.
88. Disciplining your employees in front of me.

Whew! That's quite a list. And as exhausting as it may be to get through it, it's not an exhaustive list. You might even wish to spend some time developing your own "naughty list" of behaviors that your company should specifically avoid.

We promised to enter everyone who sent in their comments into a contest to win a copy of one of our favorite books on customer service: Zingerman's Guide to Giving Great Service. We received so many responses, we've decided to give out FIVE books instead of one. We'll be mailing books to these lucky winners:

 

Chuck Clark
Kristen Harris
Scott Moehring
Dan Smith
Juli Kernodle

Thanks for reading. Happy Holidays!

Create a Positive Charge in January! New Public Workshop Announced

Date: January 19th

Time: 8am-Noon

Location: sparkspace in the Arena District

Cost: $85pp (plus every paid registrant gets to invite a guest for FREE)

CLICK HERE to register online

Are you excited about 2010?

2010 is going to be a great year...but only for organizations and individuals that know how to recognize new possibilities, increase their ability to work toward them, and create the energy required to transform possibility into reality.

Where could your business, team, or career be a year from now if you knew how to easily shed the negativity and fear that change and uncertainty always brings?

What could you accomplish if you and your team could learn to navigate through obstacles that normally inhibit your progress and creativity? Imagine if you could maximize your effectiveness so you really could "do more with less" (like so many of us are asked to do!).

In this short, but powerful workshop, you'll:

• learn how to deal with change, uncertainty, and events that appear to be out of your control.
• realize how much power you truly have to make a difference.
• determine what you need to be the absolute best at right now to be successful.
• spark hope and positivity during tough times.
  create energy and options to move your goals, your team, and your business forward.

CLICK HERE to register online

The Naughty List

I thought it might be fun to make this week's post interactive. I was going to come up with a list of mistakes that companies make that would land them on the "naughty list". That's where I need your help!

Now, you might be thinking no such list exists, but I disagree. We ALL keep a naughty list in our heads. We all have a set of standards that businesses must live up to. If they fail our standards, we start wishing we could fill their bank accounts with lumps of coal instead of piles of cash. I'm sure a few companies are already sneaking into your consciousness as you read this.

So how does a company end up on your naughty list? What are your pet peeves in business? What kinds of customer service, teamwork, or business etiquette failures drive you up the wall?

CLICK HERE to give us your naughty list qualifications.

Now is your chance to let the world know! You can tell us one or a hundred. Vent all you want. Let it out. You don't even have to leave your name, BUT if you do, you'll be entered to win a copy of one of our favorite books: Zingerman's Guide To Great Service.

We'll post your responses in next week's blog post. Together, we'll let companies everywhere know exactly what they can do to avoid the naughty list. Ok, maybe it's too late for 2009, but maybe we can provide some hope for 2010.

Can't wait to hear what you have to say!

It's All About The Straws

I've discovered the mark of great restaurant. It's all about the straws.

A good restaurant will refill my diet coke on a regular basis until I say "no, thanks" or my hands begin to shake from the caffeine overdose. A GREAT restaurant will refill my diet coke on a regular basis AND stop bringing me straws with every glass.

To me, straws have a time and place where they are useful and appropriate. If my soda comes in a cup with a lid, I'll use a straw. It's clearly designed for travel. If it's served in a glass, however, I'll take the straw out and drink straight from the glass just like I would at home.

Great restaurants (represented by great waiters) notice right off the bat that I've taken the straw out of my glass. When they bring me another drink, my glass arrives ready to meet my lips in Nutrisweet bliss - with no straw to remove.

If straws begin to accumulate on the table in front of me, I'll sometimes I'll amuse myself by playing with them. With two straws, you've got a decent pair of airband drumsticks. With three or more, you can start to construct a pretty nice sculpture. On one particularly thirsty day I created a scale model of Frank Lloyd Wright's Falling Water using nothing but my straws and a few packets of Splenda.

But most of the time they just clutter up the table.

This is a small thing, I know. But aren't the small things what elevate you from good to great? What this really illustrates is how well you pay attention to your customers.

Some practical applications:

Do your customers ask you for the same thing repeatedly? Have you ever thought about automating your ordering or delivery system so they wouldn't have to ask?

Have you ever noticed that your customers end up with unused products or portions of products? Is there any way you can help them recover those products, or even dispose of them in some way? Or help them purchase the correct amount next time?

If you sell your time, do your customers use it all? If not, is there another service you can perform for them so they get full value for their time? What about if they consistently use more time than they schedule? Is there a way to help them schedule the right amount?

Internally, have you ever assisted a teammate with a project or a task at the last minute or as way to simply be extra helpful? Could you take over that task on a regular basis?

A nice example of paying attention to the "straws" was our recent order of water cooler bottles from Ice Mountain. I ordered 20 bottles instead of our usual 10. We had decided that we'd like to have extra on hand instead of always running very low as we approached our delivery dates. The customer service agent on the phone noticed the difference in our typical order. She let me know that we normally only order 10 bottles. I assured her that we wanted 20. She said ok, but she just wanted to make sure since she noticed it was different. She was paying attention!

Spend the next week paying a little closer attention to your customers and figuring out what straws might be left on their table. Sometimes you might have to redesign a system to address the issue. But often you'll find that it only takes a slight shift in your behavior to make a noticeable difference.

Thank God It's Monday?

How do you feel about Mondays? I'm sure there is a fascinating research study somewhere that states something like 88.3% of Americans dread Mondays. Without the benefit of real research, I have to rely on my personal observations, which tell me that 88.3% might actually be a low number.

Observation #1: What I see on Facebook & Twitter

There are a staggering number of posts on social media outlets that either complain about Monday or say "What a horrible week, thank GOD it's Friday." Oh, and a few more each week that are just thankful to be on the downward side of "hump day."

Observation #2: What I see from the treadmill

I run some mornings on a treadmill at an athletic club downtown. The treadmills face giant windows where you can observe people arriving for work. Mondays are the most interesting. Watching these poor people as they trudge toward their offices makes me kind of sad. Very few walk toward their workweek with positive energy and a sense of purpose. Most look like they are walking painfully against an invisible force that is trying to drag them back home. And there's always a couple that I'm pretty sure are zombies on their way to eat the brains of their coworkers.

If you hate Mondays, live for the weekend, and have to force yourself to put one foot in front of the other just to make it to work before the bell rings, I'm going to go out on a limb here and predict that you're probably not amazing at the whole customer service thing.

How could you be? Really. If you dislike your job, your boss, your co-workers, or your cubicle, I've got news for you. It shows. Your customers can tell. They may not be able to put their finger on it, but you put out a vibe that says "there are other things I'd rather be doing."

Hey, we don't all work in our dream job. I get that. We can't all quit our jobs all at once and go search for our ideal work situation. We've got work to do, families to feed, and a car payment to make (unless you drive an 13 year old minivan like I do, but that's another article for another time).

What we can do is realize that we can make a difference ANYWHERE. Sometimes we make a difference in our customer's lives because our purpose and passion enables us to go a step beyond their expectations. And sometimes the difference we make is for ourselves - doing a great job now so we can more easily move to a better job later.

What we can do is realize that the way we carry ourselves makes a difference...and it shows. Do you drag yourself to work each week, lamenting about how tired you are? Or do you stroll in with a smile and and attitude that says "Thank God It's Monday!"?

I'm going to hypnotize you now: remember this article, remember this article, remember this article. Especially as you walk from your car, train, or bus to your office tomorrow. Check your attitude. Check your posture. Check your purpose. Adjust as needed.

I'm not saying "fake it until you make it." I'm saying "make it."

And if you're going make it, you might as well make it spectacular. I believe most people want to work with - and buy from - people who make things spectacular, don't you?