Let go of the fear of looking stupid.
It is impossible to be 100% amazing at something if you're afraid of looking stupid.
You might recognize this fear by its other names: fear of failure, fear of rejection, or the big one: PEER PRESSURE.
Yesterday, I attended a presentation by Todd Dewett, a very engaging and insightful leadership expert. Todd asked us to perform a succession of small tasks. First, he had us close our eyes if we were comfortable doing so. Then he asked us, again, if we were comfortable doing so to stand up with our eyes closed. Finally, he asked us to stand on our chair with our eyes closed -- yes, only if we were comfortable doing so. Then he told us we could open our eyes.
A small handful of us were standing tall on our chairs. Others were standing on the floor, and a few were still sitting in their chairs.
I know some people get dizzy when their eyes are closed, so I'll excuse those people from elevating themselves 2.5 feet off the ground. I'll also let the woman in the miniskirt off the hook out of common decency.
The rest? Chickens each and every one.
They weren't afraid of heights (we're talking about a chair here, not a mountaintop). They were afraid of what they might look like as an 8-foot tall person in a business suit.
I think it should be stated that there was no reward at stake, but if you'll only fully commit when a reward is involved, are you really committed to being amazing or are you just after the free stuff?
The funny thing is that there's no reward for giving into the fear of looking stupid, unless you call status quo a reward. If I don't stick my neck out, the BEST I can hope for is that nothing will change. Woo hoo. Big prize.
Let me share with you some people who have given up the fear of looking stupid:
Jim Carey
Michael Jordan
Barack Obama
George Bush
Ok, every US President
Martha Stewart
Richard Branson
Bill Gates
Warren Buffet
Steven Colbert
Angelina Jolie
NONE of these people gave up the fear of looking stupid before they became famous, rich, or powerful. Nope. They became famous, rich, or powerful BECAUSE they gave up the fear of looking stupid. They decided to be 100% committed to their callings. They decided to go for it.
Can an organization be affected by the fear of looking stupid? Absolutely. Can a company stand out by giving up the fear of looking stupid? Same answer.
Chick-fil-A is closed on Sundays. Think they haven't been told a million times how crazy that is by about a billion different peers and business "experts"? It takes some guts to fly in the face of convention like that. It takes getting rid of the fear of looking stupid.
The irony makes me smile: Chick-fil-A ain't no chicken.
To be honest, I have a chicken moment once in awhile. There are times I'd prefer to sit back and maybe not be noticed just this once. Then I remember that playing it safe has very little reward. I also remember that 99% of the time I drop my fear of looking stupid I am rewarded far beyond my expectations.
I've told people for years in my workshops that the number one obstacle for success is the fear of looking stupid. Conquer that and you can literally achieve just about anything you desire.
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Like donning a red clown nose at a Business First Breakfast?
ReplyDeleteYou know it, sista! I still hear comments about that bit-o-bravery.
ReplyDeleteI was going to reply, but I was chicken!
ReplyDeleteDan, your honesty & humor earns you anti-chicken points.
ReplyDeleteHey, I looked for my nuggets to get the nerve to reply and found 'em! Glad that you brought this topic up for us to consider...when I get scared (chicken) to do something, I remind myself that the world really does not revolve around me and that people are going to start thinking about themselves again (and not me) just a few minutes after I do that thing I am scared to do. Then I do it, followed by the chicken dance!
ReplyDeleteMarion,
ReplyDeleteIt's a beautiful moment when we realize that people really aren't thinking about us/judging us as much as we believe they are. Most people are too worried about themselves to give us much of a thought at all, yet we stress an awful lot about it, don't we?
I designed a game called Rejection Therapy back in 2009 to encourage myself to get out of my comfort zone more (and allow myself to look stupid). It was amazingly effective and nice to shed the burden of the ego.
ReplyDeleteIf anyone wants to try it, it's here: http://rejectiontherapy.com
I just checked out your game. What a great idea to help you get out of your comfort zone. We've used a game in some workshops that forces people to go out and ask strangers for things. People are always amazed that when they get over their fear of rejection, even strangers will step up and grant their requests.
ReplyDeleteI came across your blog (and your company) a couple of months ago and wanted to tell you how much I admire your writing. I am a college student and am always encouraged when I am reminded to look past anything that may be standing in my way. So often my generation settles for mediocrity because we don't think we are any better than the person next to us...so we don't try. You have reminded me not to settle for a secondhand level of creativity just for lack of trying's sake.
ReplyDeleteThank you.
Hannah,
ReplyDeleteThanks for the comment. The world will try to force you into mediocrity because that's what the world is comfortable with. Always stand up for your ideas and your creativity and your excellence. You'll fight a thousand battles in your lifetime, but if you stand strong you will be an example for many others. You're only in college? And you're figuring this out? Look out world, Hannah's coming!
You are totally correct. You can't be scared of being a chicken. In fact, when I had the privilege of going to the Colbert Report last year, Steven did some Q&A before filming. Someone asked him about his ritualistic walk. He laughed and then explained to the audience that once a week he walks across an avenue doing a ridiculous rendition of a squirrel walk. He then demonstrated (it was quite awkward). He told us that he did this to remind himself that it is ok to look stupid; he wanted to throw himself off his high horse. Colbert claims to do this to make sure that he is never fearful of saying anything on the air, because nothing looks quite as stupid as squirrel walking while crossing a busy street.
ReplyDeleteZach, that is a fantastic story about Steve Colbert! Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDelete