KEEP YOUR FRIGGIN' APPOINTMENTS, PEOPLE!
Sorry, I didn't mean to yell at you. I also apologize to my mom for my use of a (substitute) swear word. I'm just a little bit -- ok, extremely -- frustrated by this issue.
You see, this past week I had three people miss appointments with me or cancel at the last minute. This happened in the span of just two days. But that's not what really upset me. What upset me is that this is not the first week this has happened. Heck, it's not even the twentieth week it's happened.
THIS HAPPENS ALL THE TIME! It never has been, and never will be, acceptable.
Almost weekly I have one or two people who break appointments with me with virtually no notice, or they will completely miss or blow off a meeting. I recently had someone email me one minute -- ONE MINUTE -- before I was supposed to meet with him in person to tell me he was going to miss our meeting. Really???? You just found out one minute before you were supposed to be here? C'mon, dude, that's lazy, rude, and completely inconsiderate.
Sadly, almost depressingly, I know I'm not alone. Whenever I share my frustration with friends & colleagues, you know what I hear? "Yeah, that happens to me all the time." And they are equally frustrated.
Several years ago I canceled an appointment with a potential client, not just once, but twice. Then when I did show up, I was fifteen minutes late because of an incident back at work. He brought me in his office, let me sit down, and started the conversation with "I'm not going to work with you and here's why..." He then proceeded to lecture me about professionalism, respecting other's time, etc. I thought he was the biggest jerk I had ever met. Until people started treating my time the way I had treated his. I still cringe when I think about what an idiot I was (and the fact that I was mad at him for giving me the spanking I totally deserved).
I feel like we've forgotten as a society how important time is. My time is important to me, just like yours is to you. Do you know what I do when I have an appointment on my schedule? I stop working and prepare for the appointment. When you don't show up, or you're not at your desk when I call at our appointed time, I feel 100% unimportant. It doesn't matter what our relationship is. You could be a client, customer, job candidate, or colleague and I'd still feel the same way.
I don't want to do business with people who make me feel unimportant, do you?
I don't want to work for those kind of people as clients. I don't want to buy from those kind of people as a customer. And I certainly don't want to HIRE those kind of people to work for me.
Here's a simple formula to help you keep your appointments:
1. Use a calendar.
2. Leave plenty of time between appointments. Meetings always run long. Don't even pretend to be surprised by this.
3. Schedule only the truly important stuff. You don't have to take every meeting just because somebody asks for it.
4. CALL as soon as you know -- don't email one minute before the meeting -- if you're running late or have to cancel. Believe it or not, not everybody checks their email every minute of every day.
I could have probably called this article "Business Integrity and Etiquette 101", but that wouldn't have been near as catchy, nor would it have conveyed the urgency and prominence I believe this issue deserves.
Would you join me right here, right now, in re-committing to respect other people's time? Let's start today by keeping our friggin' appointments.
And I promise I'll write a more upbeat, positive article next week.
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You're totally not alone... I find it difficult to understand why one would commit to something and fail to deliver. It's simply not acceptable in today's world. If you can't take someone for their word then what do you have to believe in?? I feel your frustration.. As I'm sure many others do..
ReplyDeleteThanks, Bryan. Nice to know I'm not alone!
ReplyDeleteI absolutely agree, it shows a lack of respect for other peoples time. I also think in etiquette 101 we need to teach people to 'be hear now'. Physically sitting in a room does not mean they are present. They should not be on thier smart phone, laptop etc. It also conveys that what you have to do is more important than the others are doing in the meeting.
ReplyDeleteVery "timely"...I spent 10 hours waiting for DirecTV this weekend....
ReplyDeleteTHANK YOU for saying this outloud! You are not alone. Manyy of us feel the same pain everyday. I don't understand why so many people, including almost all medical providers, can't seem to recogonize that my time is as valuable as theirs. They have no problem canceling an appointment if some poor person happens to get caught up in a traffic situation and is 15 minuites late for an appointment they waited 2 monnths for, however, when you do show up at your assigned time they have no problem making you wait 30 miniutes to get takne into a room and another 15 minuites waiting for the Dr to make an appearence after you are taken in! I beleive this profession is the worst offender.
ReplyDeleteI'm one of the lucky ones who has a doctor that gets it. I rarely have to wait and when he's talking to me, I always get the sense that he is relaxed and has nobody else to talk to besides me. That hasn't always been the case, though. I've had plenty of those doctor experiences you describe, too! I learned a long time ago to always bring a book! Amazing how much reading you can do waiting for appointments.
ReplyDeleteSpoken with truth and conviction! .....and needed to be said. I am sure I have been guilty, and I know others have been guilty with me. No blame; just truth, re-commitment, and honest expectations. Thanks for the words!
ReplyDeleteHope your mom isn't too angry!
Pretty sure my mom will get over it. Thanks for the encouragement. I feel obligated to admit that I am not perfect in this area. I do sometimes run late, but I try to call and let people know. Also important to say that I'm ok with re-scheduling, if done in advance. I don't mind at all if somebody needs to juggle their schedule to make everything fit. If they let me know ahead of time, I'm usually happy they still want to met with me. :)
ReplyDeleteWell said Mark - I have not commented on your blog in a while, although I do always read them.
ReplyDeleteI am equally guilty of canceling/rescheduling appointments, and am notoriously late to standing meetings. I often fall back on the excuse that "something came up" that caused me to be late, when in reality most of the time I let something else come up, or I got so wrapped up in trying to finish "just one more thing" or send out just a few more e-mails, that I am consequently racing down the hall to a meeting I'm already late for.
I do not prefer E or P in the MBTI, but recently came across a statement that those who do should build time in for it. Which means that if you know you're going to encounter someone for a brief chat on your way to your appointment (or even on your way out of the office), build in time for that to happen!
Thanks as always for your insight, and enjoy the holiday season.
--Jeff
Jeff, thanks for your honesty! I have found myself in that same position before. Sometimes it helps to just "clear the slate" of all/most meetings and start over. Heading into the holidays & new year are a great time to do that since many people's schedules really slow down during this time of year.
ReplyDeleteAlong the same lines (sort of), people don't RSVP anymore. It's easy...YES or NO! Then you can plan your meeting or event....
ReplyDeleteYou're right about that. We host a lot of public events. People either register at the last minute, don't register and just show up, or register and not show up. I think many people have no idea how to manage their time.
ReplyDeleteAMEN to that!!! You don’t have to read, but I’m going to vent and have a therapeutic moment for myself.
ReplyDeleteJust yesterday, I had to move heaven and earth to accommodate a meeting with a case worker from children’s services at our home…which you already know the punch line. Now, understand the situation…we have taken in 2 children (1 is my nephew and the other is unrelated)…we did this very reluctantly which is a whole different story. But, I would think that Children’s Services would think of us as a “customer” or at least as a “partner”…not to be insensitive, but we (and other similar families) solve their problem right??…finding a home for children. The case worker called me last week…”we need to get a meeting on the calendar to visit with the kids to introduce you to the new caseworker”…a last minute request – but I committed to making it work. I had to arrange to get one child to basketball by our nanny…had to tell our daughter I could not attend her winter concert…ended up leaving my team at work mid way through a project that had a late night deadline…to race home to accommodate meeting this new case worker at 5:30pm last night. At 5:29 the phone rang – I was met with a “I hate to do this, but I need to cancel”. You think???? At 5:29…seriously???????? When I expressed my dissatisfaction (very calmly and professionally I might add) not at the fact that “life happens”…but the fact that she didn’t have the courtesy to call at some point in the day when this decision was clearly made (given that she is 45 minutes away…she had to know at least 45 minutes prior!!). She actually had the nerve to yell at ME and said I’m sorry… things happen. Even after I reiterated very clearly, it’s not about cancelling…it’s about cancelling at some point in the day and neglecting to fill me in on the plan until the last minute and therefore, completely disrespecting my time in the process. Her response was “it slipped my mind”. UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ok…I feel better.
That is a GREAT story that illustrates the point so well! Your story makes me really glad we tapped this button and provided an outlet for sharing our collective frustrations!
ReplyDeleteWell said Mark! It also goes for phone calls too. I work out of my house and when I have a phone "meeting" scheduled, I make arrangements so the kids and dog are quiet and occupied then when they don't call I wonder, should I call them, if they do call but it's 15 minutes late, should I answer and tell them to reschedule, etc. Very frustrating b/c I've just wasted 20 minutes out of my day for them and still have no answers.
ReplyDeleteKeep writing great articles.
I feel your pain! The way I treat missed appointments or phone calls is a) decide if I still want to talk to that person, then, b) figure out a time that's good for ME. If you miss an appointment with me, now you're on MY schedule. I don't feel any obligation to meet their schedule if they didn't respect mine.
ReplyDeleteWell said. I just recently had an executive recruiter reach out to me and then stand me up on a phone conversation not once but twice. He didn't even cancel, he just never called and then sent an email asking to reschedule. What makes him honestly think that I would consider leaving my current executive position for a job at his company when he can't even manage to show up for an informational session?
ReplyDeleteI would tell him that to his face. Maybe he needs the same wake up call i received. He probably wonders why he can't ever place really great candidates!
ReplyDelete