Don't Be A Chicken

Let me tell you the secret to success in any business, any pursuit, or any relationship:

Let go of the fear of looking stupid.

It is impossible to be 100% amazing at something if you're afraid of looking stupid.

You might recognize this fear by its other names: fear of failure, fear of rejection, or the big one: PEER PRESSURE.

Yesterday, I attended a presentation by Todd Dewett, a very engaging and insightful leadership expert. Todd asked us to perform a succession of small tasks. First, he had us close our eyes if we were comfortable doing so. Then he asked us, again, if we were comfortable doing so to stand up with our eyes closed. Finally, he asked us to stand on our chair with our eyes closed -- yes, only if we were comfortable doing so. Then he told us we could open our eyes.

A small handful of us were standing tall on our chairs. Others were standing on the floor, and a few were still sitting in their chairs.

I know some people get dizzy when their eyes are closed, so I'll excuse those people from elevating themselves 2.5 feet off the ground. I'll also let the woman in the miniskirt off the hook out of common decency.

The rest? Chickens each and every one.

They weren't afraid of heights (we're talking about a chair here, not a mountaintop). They were afraid of what they might look like as an 8-foot tall person in a business suit.

I think it should be stated that there was no reward at stake, but if you'll only fully commit when a reward is involved, are you really committed to being amazing or are you just after the free stuff?

The funny thing is that there's no reward for giving into the fear of looking stupid, unless you call status quo a reward. If I don't stick my neck out, the BEST I can hope for is that nothing will change. Woo hoo. Big prize.

Let me share with you some people who have given up the fear of looking stupid:

Jim Carey
Michael Jordan
Barack Obama
George Bush
Ok, every US President
Martha Stewart
Richard Branson
Bill Gates
Warren Buffet
Steven Colbert
Angelina Jolie

NONE of these people gave up the fear of looking stupid before they became famous, rich, or powerful. Nope. They became famous, rich, or powerful BECAUSE they gave up the fear of looking stupid. They decided to be 100% committed to their callings. They decided to go for it.

Can an organization be affected by the fear of looking stupid? Absolutely. Can a company stand out by giving up the fear of looking stupid? Same answer.

Chick-fil-A is closed on Sundays. Think they haven't been told a million times how crazy that is by about a billion different peers and business "experts"? It takes some guts to fly in the face of convention like that. It takes getting rid of the fear of looking stupid.

The irony makes me smile: Chick-fil-A ain't no chicken.

To be honest, I have a chicken moment once in awhile. There are times I'd prefer to sit back and maybe not be noticed just this once. Then I remember that playing it safe has very little reward. I also remember that 99% of the time I drop my fear of looking stupid I am rewarded far beyond my expectations.

I've told people for years in my workshops that the number one obstacle for success is the fear of looking stupid. Conquer that and you can literally achieve just about anything you desire.

Billionaire Service

What would you do if you had a billion dollars? Yeah, yeah, I mean AFTER you gave a bunch to charity and bought your mom a house.

What I'm really after here is: how would you treat your customers if you had a billion dollars in the bank and didn't need to work for money, but chose to work anyway?

Chances are you'd take one of two paths:

Path one: adopt a screw-you-I-don't-need-you-or-your-money attitude (and all the wonderful behaviors that accompany such an attitude).

Path two: DEVOTE yourself to service.

I am amazed at the number of people I've met that appear to have chosen the first path without a billion dollars in the bank to back it up.

Those who would choose path two (please, please, PLEASE choose path two) are the people who create amazing companies and fanatically loyal customers.

When you have a billion dollars, it's really not about the money, it's about contribution and service in their truest forms. By the way, before you concoct a plan to kidnap my children, you should know that I'm only speculating and imagining here, NOT speaking from experience (i.e., I do not -- I repeat, do not -- have a billion dollars in the bank...yet).

I heard your thoughts whisper, "But I don't have a billion dollars. I've still got to pay my cable bill!"

To that I say: So what? You're going to wait until you have a billion dollars to treat your customers the way you know you should treat them?

That's like saying you'll start giving 10% of your money to charity when you finally strike it rich. No, no you wont.

Motivational guru Tony Robbins asked in one of his programs, "Do you think it's harder to give $100 out of $1000 or $100,000 out of a million? I've done both and believe me, it's a lot harder to give $100,000 out of a million. If you don't have the spirit and discipline when you have a little money, you won't have it when you have a lot."

Do you think it will be easier to provide amazing service when you have a billion dollars in the bank? Your immediate answer probably sounds something like "Heck yeah!" But the reality is, if you don't have a service spirit and discipline when you have a little money, you won't have it when you have a lot. And I'm going to predict that if you don't have a service spirit and discipline when you've got a little money, you'll NEVER have a lot.

You do not need a billion dollars to choose path two and devote yourself and your organization to service. You can provide Billionaire Service today. Here is a great question to ask yourself or discuss in your next staff meeting:

Without money as a primary motivator, how would we conduct our business?

Let me suggest an answer. You would devote yourselves to complete service to your customers. You would make their lives better by being amazing at what you do.

Why do you need a billion dollars in the bank to do that?

You don't. Go do it today.

Surround Yourself With Positive Nouns

Would you like more positivity in your life?

One of the most powerful concepts we share in our Creating A Positive Charge Workshop is to surround yourself with positive nouns.

You remember what a noun is, right? A noun is a person, place, thing or idea. Don't worry, we're not covering conjunctions or dangling participles in this article. The last thing I want to do is cause a painful English class flashback.

Nouns are the "stuff" we surround ourselves with every day: the people we encounter; the places we work, live, and visit; the "things" we use; the ideas we're exposed to.

One of the best ways to create and maintain a positive mental state is to eliminate the negative nouns in our lives and replace them with positive ones.

Unfortunately, we allow ourselves to be surrounded by WAY too many negative nouns. You're probably already thinking about the negative people you work with. If any of them are sitting near you, don't look up and make eye contact or they'll know you're reading an article about them. Keep your eyes on the page. It's for your own safety.

Here's a little quiz to take. It's easy. I even gave you the answers.

Q. How many people do you deal with each day that drain your energy, patience, and positive spirit? 
A. Too many.

Q. When was the last time you found yourself in a physical space that inspired and energized you? 
A. Too long ago.

Q. How many truly positive messages do you receive via TV, movies, newspapers, magazines, and Facebook?
A. Not nearly enough.

To demonstrate how many negative messages we receive, pick up a copy of the local paper, USA Today, or The Wall Street Journal. Count up the number of items on the front page that contain some sort of negative message. I do this as a demonstration in my workshops. I have consistently found that 65-75% of the messages on the front page of the paper are negative, and once in awhile it spikes to 85% (that's usually The Wall Street Journal, by the way).

So, if I'm trying to be a positive force in my company, my family, and my community, why would I allow myself to be surrounded by so many negative nouns? That does nothing to help me (or those I'm trying to serve). 

If I was fighting cancer, you better believe I wouldn't pick a medicine that only provided 25% of what I really needed to create a positive outcome. 

You can change the ratio of negative to positive nouns any time you want. All you have to do is dump the negative and seek out the positive. The word "seek" implies there might be work involved. It's not that hard, but it does take some effort.

Stop reading the newspaper every day. Ignore those RIDICULOUS tabloid magazines at the checkout counter. Be careful what kinds of books you read, TV shows you watch, and movies you go to. Don't worry -- if the world really ends in 2012 one of your negative friends who still reads the newspaper will let you know about it.

Find a place that inspires and energizes you and go there often. Like, today. Is it the gym? A church? The library? A certain inspirational business retreat center in Columbus' Arena District? (Yes, a shameless plug. Sue me). Hiking through nature almost always does the trick for me. It's hard not to be inspired by the Master's work, especially when the leaves are exploding in color like they are right now.

And finally, remember those negative people who bring you down? Dump them. Find new friends. You owe negative people NOTHING. True, some people you can't avoid (like certain co-workers or family members), but you can limit your exposure to them. It might take some planning and practice, but it's worth the effort. You don't have to be rude or mean, you just have to chose to limit your exposure to negative people. 

Always remember that what you focus on expands. If you keep surrounding yourself with negative nouns, you'll have a lot more negativity in your life than you desire. But, if you choose to surround yourself with positive nouns, your world will become an exponentially more positive place. And imagine what you will accomplish in a world like that!

Oh, one more thing. Take a good look at yourself and make sure you're a positive noun for those around you, too.




What are your favorite positive nouns? What are the nouns in your life that inspire you? Tell us your favorite positive people, places, things and ideas by leaving a comment!

Thanks for your understanding (again!)

We had a glitch in our registration with Technorati. We're listing the spark new thinking blog with Technorati in hopes of getting more readers, and more people to help make a difference in this world!

We apologize for the extra posts this week with this info, but they require us to post a special code in order to get registered.

Again, you don't have to do anything, but we wanted you to know that you're not being spammed!

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The sparkspace blog team

The Best Question Ever PART II

In last week's article, I asked the question:

"What would you be if you knew you could be the absolute best at it?"

I've decided that it's the Best Question Ever because it challenges you to think about what you really want and how you could really make a difference in this world.

It's such a new question to most people, many found it hard to wrap their heads around. So I thought I'd give just a little more explanation because this is truly one of the most important questions you will ever ask yourself. It's WAY more important than the 2nd most important question, "Do these jeans make me look fat?"

Another way to look at this question is to break it down into the questions it encompasses:

- If all the obstacles in your life were removed (debt, time obligations, etc.), what would you do with your life?

- If you followed your interests and passions as far as they could take you, where would you end up?

- If you developed and nurtured your natural talents and abilities to their highest potential, what would you accomplish?

There are probably more questions implied within the Best Question Ever, but these should provide some extra focus for those who struggled with the original question.

Now, back to the original: "What would you be if you knew you could be the absolute best at it?"

One reason I think this question is so powerful is because answering it honestly and realistically removes the three biggest obstacles between us and our true potential:

1. The Fear of Failure
Familiar to all human beings and probably several species of monkeys, everyone fears failure. I call itthe fear of looking stupid. The Best Question Ever forces us to look at it in a new way. Here's the thing:

If I'm not the best at something, I don't want to do it. We don't like to play games we don't believe we can win. It's why I hate playing Mario Cart with my kids. I suck at it, especially the truly evil course called "Rainbow Road."

Does being the best mean being the best in the world? It could, but it really means what could you be YOUR best at?

So what would you do if you could be your best?

2. Lack of Acceptance of What We Could Be Great At.
There are a gazillion reasons why we don't truly accept and acknowledge our true talents, passions, and potential. These reasons range from "I tried and failed before" to "My 3rd grade teacher said I wasn't good at math".

Get over it. Take inventory of your talents and passions and, more importantly, take OWNERSHIP of them. Your third grade teacher (or even your parents for that matter) don't control you anymore! If you don't know what your talents and passions are, get out there and try more stuff. You'll eventually find something that resonates. 

What would happen if you accepted your talents and passions and eventually pursued them full-time?

3. The Fear of Success.
Ah, the final frontier. The silliest by far, but real nonetheless. We fear success because it usually means life will dramatically change for us. We fear we'll have to give up what we have right now in exchange for what our true potential might bring. We fear it's selfish to be successful. We fear being judged.

That's like saying you fear buying a Ferrari because you'll have to give up your Ford Fiesta. 

Like I mentioned last week, I've decided that writing and speaking is my highest potential to make a difference. To truly pursue that, though, I've got to give up about 95% of what I'm currently doing. Scary. But it's worth it and I know it.

What could you accomplish with your life if you had absolutely no fear of success?


Ok, my last thoughts here. Thanks for hanging with me. I know it's a longer article than usual, but if you've read this far I truly believe you're about to do something amazing with your life.

Think big AND be realistic. This is not fantasy camp. We're not talking about your lifelong dream to be an astronaut, the next American Idol, or Brad Pitt's next wife. What's realistic? That's up to you to decide.

Could you be an Oscar-winning actress? Absolutely -- if you have the talent and the passion to pursue it.

Could you be a truly amazing high-school chemistry teacher? Absolutely -- if you have the talent and passion to pursue it.

Could you take your current position and become the absolute best at it? ABSOLUTELY! You don't have to quit your job and pursue something radically different. There's a pretty good chance you're in a position that you would fall completely in love with...if you decided to be the best at it.

If you read last week's article and didn't answer the question, well, now you have no choice:

"What would you be if you could be the absolute best at it?"


Here's your chance to tell the world! Leave us a comment with your answer!

Thanks for your understanding

Hi!

We're listing our blog with technorati in hopes of getting many more readers. They require us to post a special code in a blog post so they know we are legit. There is nothing you need to do. We'll post our regular spark new thinking post later this week, but we wanted to get the technorati link up and running ASAP. We apologize for the interruption!

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Thanks!


Mark Henson
sparkspace